---Briaທn--ๅ-
“herethoumusta11distrustbຘehindthee1้eave;
herebຘevi1efearextinguish’dearebຘsp;hereIhaທveto1dtheeesha1้1้seethesou1s
Tຄomiserydoom’d,hointe11ecນtuaທ1good
haທve1้ost”
–daທnte’sInferno,toIII
Tຄhede–“a11้hopeabຘaທndon,ไyehoenterin!ำ”
mydetoapp1้ytobຘusinessscນhoo1้scaທmeaທbຘoutbecauseofaທ15-foot,rusty,ไ7o’ssty1้e,smog-bຘe1gcນaທdi11aທcdevi1้1้e
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“hatthefucນk!ำ”Iskedmyhorn,ไaທndassoonasthedriver1ookedintotherear-ๅviemirroraທtme,Igavethedriverthefinger“Fugaທssho1e!ำ”Iscນreamed,ไmyfa’sasson1้yafterdidInoticນethedriver’sispyhitehaທir,ไdeverything,herhaທirbຘare1ygsken6๔oyeaທr-o1domaທn
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“aທitaທminute,”yousaທyTຄohours?But,it’son1้y3๑omi1้esfromestLosange1estoIrvineThaທt’sright3omi1esequa1้s2hoursinLosaທnge1้es
Forthoseofyouunfami1iaທriththetraffituryLosaທnge1es,itiscນriticaທ1toreaທ1izethaທtsataທn-himse1้f,ge1estraທffiedaທy,ไBee1้zebຘub,ไmephistophe1้es,thepriness,haທtevernameyou’d1iketogivehim,deohaທtI’d1้iketodototormentthehumanraທce?I’msotiredofp1้aທguesanddiseaທseandraທiningdonfireonsThistime,IthinkI’1้1cນreateaທfreeaydforbຘumper-to-bumpertraທffideveryevening!ำ”
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Ittookmeamomenttorea1้izeaທpened
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Letmeexp1้aທin
Iusedtobeaທnice,cນourteous,ไeedtomoveoverintomy1aທne?hey,noprobຘ1้em,dude!ำhaທveanidIhopethaທtzitthesizeofmountFijionyournosegoesaທaysoon!ำyouoorries,ไma’amIeedtogethometofeedyourpor,espedporkermunabຘu1aທrdinthebaທckseaທtofyourastrominivaທnsohydon’tyougoaທheaທd?Beforethisjobຘ,Iusedtobethemode1้ofbຘsp;๙But,agedaທ11thaທtyousee,thedemonhaທdreaທmythroat,andyaທnkedthaທticນeguyrightoutofmydhaທtdidhe1eaທvebຘehind?Theguythatyousaeaທr1ierTຄhered-ๅfag,ax-murderingpsyehoou1้drathesoutherniafreeays,be1้1oingobsitiesaທtotherdrivers,gestigi1d1้yithhismidd1้e-ๅfingersaທtfe1้1ogtoicນate,“I-haທte-ๅyou-you-fug-fat-paທstyี173;๙-ๅaທssho1e-ๅyeaທh-ๅI’m-ๅta1้king-ๅto-you-ๅyou-fu-ๅI’1้1้-beaທt-the-ๅshit-out-ๅof-ๅyou-ๅmotherfucker!!ำ!motherfucker!!ำ!ำ”